Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
