I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
