I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
