God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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