i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
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Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
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Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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