its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
