butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just found a bag of teeth...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
