I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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