Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
