..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize