i jhust puked up my retainher.
Please, let me fuck your mom
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize