Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you traded sex for a burrito?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
