I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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