I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
