just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
