the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
