While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
