Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I got her a Nickelback box set.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
