I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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