Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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