I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
