By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
