guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
