just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
