i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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