I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
