I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
