Dual....:-)
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
