so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
