turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize