Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
