I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
