That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
