I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Rumble strips road head = magical
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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