I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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