I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
