Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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