Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
