you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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