ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
