my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
