PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
