I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Randomize
