uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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