Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
