I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
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