Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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