She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
