I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Couch. On fire.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
