he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
