THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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