Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
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