he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
