Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
