11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Umm I'm too high to move.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
