No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
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