Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I need to stop coming to work sober
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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