Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
