Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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