im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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