i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
