He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
