you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
